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"Nothingman" (recorded in 2010, released on 1/1/2011) - what if there was a hero that was anything but super, in fact, way below super.

lyrics

Chorus:
I am, I am, Nothingman.
And I can do nothing.
I am, I am, Nothingman,
And I don't do anything.

I can't leap over an ant,
I can't run faster than a snail.
I'm less powerful than an amoeba,
I'm a real big fail.

I can't rescue damsels
I am way too weak
Villains beat me all the time
My future is so bleak

Chorus:
I am, I am, Nothingman.
And I can do nothing.
I am, I am, Nothingman,
And I don't do anything.

I can't save the world
I die in outer space
I can't stop a freight train
I lose every race

I have lousy hearing
I fry up in the sun
My vision's too poor
My life ain't no fun.

Chorus:
I am, I am, Nothingman.
And I can do nothing.
I am, I am, Nothingman,
And I don't do anything.

I freeze in the arctic
I trip over sand
Bullets outpace me
My career is canned.

Babies wrestle me
and pin me to the ground
I'm a total loser
I'm New Jersey bound.

Chorus:
I am, I am, Nothingman.
And I can do nothing.
I am, I am, Nothingman,
And I don't do anything.

credits

from Originals (2000​-​2012) Deluxe Edition, track released January 1, 2011

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about

David Tanny San Diego, California

Born in San Diego, David Tanny specializes in fun dementia (or funmentia) recordings and spoken word humor. He writes, produces, and engineers (rather cheaply) novelty music and sketch comedy from his home with a computer.

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